Diagnosis, Therapy, Test – Marking Feedback: Aggression

Below you will find all the marking codes used specifically in aggression homework. In order to use this, locate the QR code on your work which will have a diagnosis code. That will tell you what the main issue was with your work, or the place that improvement would make the biggest difference to your grade. Scan the QR code and it will bring you to this page. Scroll down to find your code and it will give you a diagnosis, and then importantly a therapy. This is a task to complete on the bottom of your work in green pen which will help ‘treat’ the problem. Mrs Pepper can then test if the therapy has worked and give you a rough indication of how this would change your grade.

Essay SkillsSocial Learning TheoryDeindividuationFrustration AggressionInstitutionalGenesNeural & HormonalEthologyEvolutionaryVideo GamesMedia

Essay Skills

Essay01

Diagnosis = Length/Word count

Either you entire essay is too long/too short or one part of it (AO1 or AO3)is too long or too short. This is a problem because:

  • If its too long it could waste time in an exam and you only have 20minutes as it is (likely to be incomplete)
  • If its to short it is likely to be incomplete and likely to lack real detail and thoroughness.
  • If one section is too long you are likely to not finish the other, typically this is overwriting AO1 which is only worth 6 marks and may make it seems focused on description.

Therapy: Make sure you know your word/line count for 5mins. Go through the section concerned or entire essay. Either flesh out to meet the word count, or cut back to meet the word count.

Essay02

Diagnosis = Repetition

You have repeated ideas within either your AO1 or AO3. This is a problem because:

  • It wastes time in an exam and you only have 20minutes as it is (likely to be incomplete)
  • It gives the illusion that you have said more than you really have (likely to lack real detail)
  • Makes it difficult to follow you line of argument (loses focus and organisation)

Therapy: Go through the section concerned (AO1 or specific AO3 paragraph) with repetition and identify aspects you have mentioned multiple times. Delete all but one of these with green pen and move anything new associated into one cohesive statement.

Essay03

Diagnosis = Needs Elaboration

You have an area of your essay where you have missed an opportunity to elaborate or take the arguments you present further. This means the points you have made are unlikely to be effective and in addition you may need to include/revise more points in order to reach your word count.

Therapy: Look at the section which needs elaborating. Highlight each claim/point you make in a different colour. If you end up highlighting lots of different ideas and none of these are then expanded upon or linked together this is the area which needs to be rewritten in green pen. For example: This theory has support from other cultures(1) who are non aggressive, this shows a link to nature vs nurture(1). Neither point is fully explained as to how or why it matters, and are not linked together.

Essay04

Diagnosis = Order & Line of Argument

The order of you points (normally AO3) are effecting your ability to create a coherent and focused piece of writing. Nothing you have written is incorrect it is just harder to read or make sense of. At worst this will effect your organisation marks but at best you will not have a line of argument.

Therapy: Take each paragraph of AO3 and sum the whole argument of that paragraph up in one sentence. Place this sentence onto a post-it note/scrap paper. Play around with the order, read the sentence out loud one after another. Does it make sense? Are you skipping about? Are you just however to however? Have you already dismissed that point earlier on? Go back to your essay and number the new paragraph order in green pen.

Essay05

Diagnosis = AO3 as AO1

You have sections of your essay which are meant to be AO3 but the way in which they have been written they count as AO1.

Therapy: Take a look at the bookending of your paragraph. Does it suggest support/criticism or are you just describing a study or idea? Rewrite in green pen with a clear “in support…” type of statement at the start.

Essay06

Diagnosis = Too Powerful Language (AO3)

You make very strong claims which show a lack of understanding of the finer elements of psychological studies.

Therapy: Take a look through your AO3. Look at for claims which suggest studies or theories are either perfect (not normally the problem) or complete flawed e.g. lack of, contradicts, insignificant, biased. Change the phrasing in green pen to something along the lines of “has issues with”.

Essay07

Diagnosis = Irrelevant information

You have included irrelevant information. This means you have lost focus on the question at hand and also wasted time/word count in your exam not achieving marks.

  • It wastes time in an exam and you only have 20minutes as it is (likely to be incomplete)
  • It gives the illusion that you have said more than you really have (likely to lack real detail)
  • Makes it difficult to follow you line of argument (loses focus and organisation)

Therapy: Go through the section concerned and delete all or most of the irrelevant section with green pen. Make sure your essay still makes sense and add information back up to your word count.

Essay08

Diagnosis = No/Limited AO3

You have either not evaluated or have largely missed evaluation. this puts a cap on your mark of 6 for AO1 and you will not be able to get any higher no matter how much detail is present.

Therapy: Add 2-3 fully elaborated paragraphs of AO3 in green pen

Essay09

Diagnosis = Listing

Your AO1 or AO3 is really just a list of ideas and/or features. This means there is little focus on the question. It also gives the impression to the examiner that you do not know how to answer the question, but are instead throwing everything you know at it!

Therapy: This tends to happen when you do not understand the theory or point very well. Revise the theory or often the evidence/because element of you evaluation point, or talk it through with me/peer. Once you have the understanding identify with bullet points the ideas you want to include and then chunk them together into broader ideas until you get a more cohesive run through the theory or evaluation point. Rewrite section in green pen.

Essay10

Diagnosis = Linking two or more ideas

You’re writing an essay which contains two or more theories/components for AO1 however when you start writing about the 2nd and/or 3rd idea you just begin discussion it without any link between what you have just been discussing and this new element. This can make essays feel disjointed and like two mini essays lumped togetherness. This will effect your CLARITY and COHERENCE. Definitely preventing you accessing level 4 responses.

Therapy: There will be 1 of two things you need to do. The most simple option is to top and tail in green pen. Go to the end of your first section and create a ‘so what can we conclude?’ sentence which draws that idea to a close while link to where the essay goes next. Then in the start of your next paragraph don’t just start ‘another ideas is’ instead lead into it from your conclusion above. If this doesn’t seem to work you may need to think about reordering you sections. Would it work better the opposite way around?

Essay11

Diagnosis = Vague / Lack ok Detail

Your essay has most of the right information in it but it lacks detail and so is vague.  This is usually due to a lack of research, a lack of terms or a lack of full explanation and is the result of not knowing the information in enough detail yet.  (Only normally a test conditions issue)

  • If it is vague it will not be above band 2 as it will likely to be incomplete, lack detail, be limited in terms of its AO1
  • If it is vague it will not be above band 2 as it will likely have discussion/application with has a limited effectiveness.

Therapy: This is about revision.  Go back through the essay and tighten it up with details.  Try not to just add information (as word count wise this will not work) instead try an amend phrasing to be more detailed.

Social Learning Theory of Aggression

SK01

Diagnosis = Knowledge Accuracy

You have made a fundamental error in your understanding of what the theory says. This means your accuracy marks are impacted. The classic errors in Social Learning Theory are:

  • Saying you can learn aggression directly. This is not strictly true, theory states you initially learn it through indirect means, and then maintain it through a combination of indirect and direct.

Therapy: Fix the errors. Rewrite, or redraft to exclude the error and ensure your essay still makes sense without it.

SK02

Diagnosis = Generic SLT Description

Your description is too generic. It is largely focused on describing the process of Social Learning Theory and does not read as specific to the explanation of aggression and therefore sounds too PSY2. This will affect your focus marks.

Therapy: Look at your AO1 paragraphs. Identify if they are describing how Social Learning Theory works in general, or using Social Learning Theory to explain how or why someone is aggression. This need to be consistent and throughout, not just with an aggression example as a bolt on at the end, integrate this throughout.

SE01

Diagnosis = Generic SLT Evaluation

You evaluation points are too generic. They either largely apply to any Social Learning Theory essay and do not link back to the topic of aggression or are only really evaluating the original development of the theory and therefore sounds too PSY2. This will affect your focus marks.

Therapy: Look at your AO3 paragraphs. Identify if they are discussing a problem with Social Learning Theory in general, or Social Learning Theory as an explanation of aggression specifically. If they are general you need to either link back to aggression (fine for the odd point) or remove and replace with a more specific one (needed if most of the essay is generic).

Deindividuation Theory of Aggression

DK01

Diagnosis = Listing all the researchers

Within Deindivduation there is a tendency to list what each researcher into the phenomenon has had to say. Your AO1 will likely end up too long and repititous if you do this.

Therapy: You need to outline the two forces that act in deindividuation – anonymity so not identifiable and loss of self identity. Le Bon starts it off by saying its the power of a crowd. However Prentice-Dunn and Rogers finish it by highlighting the two forces. Zimbardo discusses anonymity and Deiner discuss identity. You either need to outline Le Bon and then only Zimbardo and Diener OR outline Le Bon and the Prentice-Dunn & Rogers. In either case avoid listing and lead on from each other to make a cohesive theory.

DK02

Diagnosis = Knowledge Accuracy

You have made a fundamental error in your understanding of what the theory says. This means your accuracy marks are impacted. The classic errors in Deindividuation are:

  • Talking about individuation rather than deindividuation
  • Talking about enhancing inhibitions rather than reducing

Therapy: Fix the errors. Rewrite, or redraft to exclude the error and ensure your essay still makes sense without it.

DE01

Diagnosis = Studies

Your studies are focused too much of getting the procedure in and not focused on the fact they are supporting or criticising a theory.

Therapy: Go through the procedural details given in the supporting studies. Edit them to only include details which are directly relevant to the theory you are evaluating. Rather than using the words of the textbook, rephrase to highlight the key features needed to evaluate the theory.

Frustration-Aggression Hypothesis

Institutional Aggression

IK01

Diagnosis = Describing theory not using theory

Often in the Importation and Deprivation models student just describe what the models are. The tone is descriptive and they state all parts of the models in equal depth which makes it feel, at worst, like a list of ideas or at best, an overview of the ideas. The question is not actually about these models. Instead it is about why there is so much institutional aggression and therefore the models should be used to explain prison violence not simply explained. This will effect for FOCUS marks which will hamper you ability to get into level 3/4 mark bands.

Therapy: This will need a REPHRASE. Everything you have written is probably accurate but the phrasing is not focused. For Importation you focus should be on the social histories that link to higher levels of aggression and the subcultures that commit or perpetuate the violence rather than stating social histories are important and describing all the subcultures. For Deprivation the focus should be on why those deprivations lead to aggression rather than what each deprivation is.

IE01

Diagnosis = Zimbardo used ineffectively

Those students choosing to use Zimbardo need to use it carefully to avoid it feeling tangental rather than purposeful. There needs to be a sense you are building to this throughout the essay.

Therapy: Rewrite the section in green pen. If referencing the prison study it showed good (normal everyday) people would be aggressive in prisons suggesting it isn’t dispositional but they were guards. This led to the belief it must be situational. However his work with abu ghraib led him to conclude it was bigger than either factor. A complex interaction enable by a broken system.

Genetic Explanation

Neural and Hormonal Explanation

Ethological Explanation

Evolutionary Explanation

Effects of Video Games

Explanation for Media Influences

Aggression Specifics

AGS01 – PSY2 A Level 2017

Diagnosis =

Therapy:

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